For the most part, I’ve alway kept my struggles private. When I did share, I chose to share what I felt appropriate or made me look a certain way to specific groups of people. Doing this hurt me, and it stifled my ability to be used in the way God has called me. Today, I’ll let you in on my story about how a kitchen has brought healing to my life throughout different seasons.
I loved the kitchen, but I didn’t always love food. I still have pictures of me as a little girl sitting on my grandma’s bright orange counter tops next to her Sunbeam mixer being her “kitchen helper”. My grandma taught me about a love of cooking and baking, and sharing those things with others. For her influence, I am grateful. Without her, I am not sure I’d be here writing this blog.
Though, there is always two sides to every story – here’s part two. For years, the kitchen became a place of restriction not of love. Food took the form of calories, “bad for yous”, and “you’ll get fat if you eat thats.” Countless voices from friends, family, magazines, TV shows, and movies showed me that food was a means to get skinny or get fat, not as nourishment. Baking became more like a sin than sanctuary. Eventually, that perspective changed. It took nearly 12 years to break the cycle and today is the final step towards my healing in this area – sharing with you all and challenging myself, and you, to see food in a different way. I have been convicted of my and society’s war on calories and macros, and am saying “enough”. I don’t want to see food as a restriction, I want to honor the body God gave me by nourishing it with the foods He has provided but my end goal won’t be fat, skinny, “gainz”, or for a body that doesn’t look like mine. Our nourishment is to be an act of love. Let us look at our kitchens and our plates this way.
I have spent the past year healing my heart, mind, and body by being in the kitchen. Re-defining food and learning what it means to eat joyfully. Also, this year I have learned that the kitchen has brought healing as I recover from burnout. It has become a place of sabbath and renewal.
I am learning to stop, slow, seek, and savor. This is my space to be honest and to also share what I am learning both in life and in the kitchen – dishing out one bite at a time.